I am writing this blog on 'A perspective on the roles on Indian women' for a contest at Indus Ladies.
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During my grad school, I once attended a presentation titled, “How
to balance your career and family”. It was kind of a networking seminar for
women. I distinctly remember one Chinese woman who stood up and asked a
question, "when is the right time to have a kid when you are working?"
To this, the presenter answered, “It’s all about priorities, and you need to
figure out whats important to you at which point in your life”. At that time I really
didn’t think too much about that question, but it surely got registered in my
mind. These days, that question has come back to my mind.
I’m trying to find examples from my circle of friends and
relatives who have truly ‘balanced’ their careers along with their family,
especially after having their first child. I am yet to find someone who says,
the right word is indeed ‘balance’. A few my friends told me, ‘sacrifice’, ‘compromise’
and ‘extreme hard work’ are more like the appropriate words when it comes to
having a full-time job and having a baby. Don’t get me wrong, I truly think
there is nothing more precious for a woman than having a baby. However, more often
than not, it’s the women’s career that takes a side step during this change in ‘their’
life (the husband and wife). In my opinion, it’s alright if the woman wants to
take a break and care for her child full-time, otherwise, it is absolutely important
for the husband to ensure the so called ‘ balance’ is achieved by doing the ‘sacrifice’,
compromise, and ‘extreme hard work’ also if he truly appreciates her career and
being a Mom also. Hence, I do not agree that it’s about priorities, but believe
it’s about having shared responsibilities.
A woman can be a good author, an engineer, a scientist or a good
doctor, but she HAS TO BE a good daughter, a good wife, of course a good mother
and surely needs to look beautiful and well maintained most times. That’s what
we see on TV and read in newspapers these days. “I appreciate your success, and encourage your
dreams, but hey, I hope you know how to cook” is what a typical Indian guy
would ask his girlfriend, or his would be wife. She must have been a good student
at school, must have been good at sports, or music or arts, but when she is
ready to get married, she must know how to cook. That’s what a good wife does. Along with all
the gazillion activities she might be involved at school, she should have made
sometime available to learn cooking. Or does cooking have to naturally come to
her? What if she turns out to be a pathetic cook? How many guys out there are
willing to cook and clean the home along with a full-time day job while also
taking care of your kid? A woman may or may not have a career, but needs to
look pretty and be a good cook. In my opinion, today’s women multitask than
ever before, juggling so many things at one time! Luckily for me, my husband
helps me out in the kitchen and is a good cook too!
Times have changed and today's woman is more independent to choose
her career, her husband, and voice her opinion in matters of
education, sports, and politics and in many other arenas of life. Many
other women have established successful businesses in India and
abroad. These days, parents give the same message for a boy or a girl (in many
bigger cities) - follow your dream or your passion. They teach their girls to
be independent and are told, ‘Sky’s the limit’. However, I think one important
part of educating our kids, is to ensure the boys are taught to respect, show
compassion and share the responsibilities of the house with the women in their
life.
I tag the following people;
Swathi
Shanthi
Finger licking food
